TV REVIEW - TRUE BEAUTY

Tyra Banks' and Ashton Kutcher's new show, True Beauty, is the perfect synthesis of their 2 styles - model meets prankster. The contestants believe they are in a beauty contest, but they are really being tested on both inner and outer beauty. I found it interesting that in order to be a contestant, you had to be a stereotypical beauty with no consideration of the person's spirit, but it is TV.

The intros of each contestant were painful to watch. It was scary to watch people so horribly self absorbed focus 100% of their attention on their own physical beauty. It is sad that people could be so superficial and shallow and then be so vocal & cocky about it. These people obviously have a lot to learn.

There is one person who seems to be the clear front runner so far. CJ, an African American coffee barista, had a moment where he shared his past battles with weight and how those battles have shaped his self image. He says his new found beauty is just a costume covering the fat kid that he really is. I did not expect to hear this on this show so early on in the season.

I hope the show continues to have these moments of self realization, honesty and depth. The show was actually very entertaining and had some truly hilarious moments. After a while though, watching people cover their insecurities with bravado, ugliness and ignorance will not be enough - we already have enough of that on Charm School, The Bad Girls Club, any show with Paris Hilton, etc. I hope the message of inner beauty resonates with the audience and the participants. It sounds so cliche', but being ugly on the inside can make the most physically beautiful person look like an ogre on the outside. There is not enough MAC or Prada in the world that can beautify an ugly heart.

My hat always goes off to Ms. Banks who is unabashedly doing her thing, changing the world one TV show at a time. GET IT GIRL!!!

BOOK REVIEW: HOW TO BE LOST

I just finished HOW TO BE LOST by Amanda Eyre Ward. HTBL tells the story of Caroline, eldest sister of three daughters. From the outside looking in, it appears that their suburban New York family is perfect - traditional mom and dad, good looks, good money, gorgeous home. But, the walls of their grand home house alcoholism, loneliness and a distinct sadness. When Ellie, the youngest, comes up missing, the already vulnerable family drifts further apart.

Fast forward into adulthood where Caroline has tried to escape her past by running away to New Orleans to work as a cocktail waitress. While visiting home, her mom shows her a picture from a national magazine of someone they both become convinced is her now adult sister. Caroline packs up her life and heads off to find the young woman who in her mind is her sister and the key to solving her family's grief.

The irony of the title adds to the intriguing nature of this story. At first glance, the 'lost' reference immediately puts your mind on Ellie, the missing kid. But you will soon find that almost all of the characters are lost in some way. Some want to remain that way while others are in desperate need to find their way. Sometimes we can want something so bad that we start to neglect our true realities and to ignore the inner voice that guides us safely through life. Ignoring this intuition will leave all of us 'lost' in one way or another.

Ward weaves an amazing tale by mixing narrative, flashbacks and pen-pal letters from an unknown yet important source. This mixture is very loose in the beginning but becomes more and more tightly woven as the story draws to an end. Many of those that are 'lost' start to find their way even before the truth is revealed.

I never wanted to put this book down and in many ways, I needed to hear this story right now in my own life. This book is very touching and endearing and is highly recommended.

BOOK REVIEW: AS NATURE MADE HIM

I just finished reading the most amazing, riveting, emotionally challenging, heart wrenching, yet full of hope book that tells the true life story of David Reimer, who in his early life was raised as 'Brenda'. At about 8 months old, identical twin brothers Bruce and Brian Reimer were taken for medically necessary circumcisions. Bruce, the oldest twin, went in 1st for the procedure which resulted in the complete burning off of his penis. Because phalloplasties were not performed during this time, the decision was subsequently made to raise him as a girl who would later receive hormone treatments and a medically constructed vagina. They castrated him to stop the development of testosterone and 'Brenda' was born.

His parents only wanted the best for him and followed the advice of Dr. John Money, the leading sex doctor of his generation. He strongly believed that 'nurture' far outweighed 'nature' in the development of a child's sexual/gender identity. Until the age of 14, Brenda always felt like a boy trapped in the body of a girl even though she never had a real vagina which she adamantly refused. At 14, in the words of Venus Extravaganza, she "...went back to being a man." She adapted the name David as a testament to her strength and fortitude to overcome the giant which was her gender issue. David would become a loving husband and father of 3 step-children.

The gross arrogance of medicine and Dr. Money who only used the Reimers to prove his theories is appalling and scary. David's case proves that for him and, ultimately most people, sexual identity and sexual preference are hardwired by nature. Not enough dresses, makeup or even the lack of a penis and testicles could make him a girl or attracted to men. Nature vs. nurture is not completely black and white - both sides are relevant and one doesn't exclude the other. There are instances of boys who were molested by men and then became unsure of their sexuality. But for the most part, kids identify with being gay are what they are from the get go, as most gay people will attest.

I hope this teaches people to listen to children, who can sometimes tell and show us the truth in the simplest of ways if we could just put ourselves and our own agendas out of the way. Brenda did for 14 years with hardly anyone paying attention. All of this was to prove a test that ultimately failed - a wasted childhood.

Love and care for ALL children, even those that have gender and sexual identity issues - they deserve acceptance for who they ARE, not for our expectations. Gender identity and sexual identity are not always concurrent which accounts for the vast range of multi layered gender and sexual expressions (IE straight cross dressers, ultra butch gay men, sissy straight men, butch straight women, etc). It is the ignorance of this fact that allow people to easily discriminate, to hate and to demonize people who challenge 'the norm' yet are completely natural and true to themselves. Accept people for who they are.

BOOK REVIEW: A LONG WAY GONE - Memoirs of a Boy Soldier

Author Ishmael Beah documents his stolen childhood in A LONG WAY GONE - Memoirs of a Boy Soldier. Beah lived a normal, happy childhood with his family in a small village in Sierra Leone until war separated them when he was age 12. For one year he scavenged, hid and ran for his life. By age 13, he had been recruited into the national army where he was brainwashed and fed addictive drugs. He fought, killed, and tortured 'the enemy' with a new found sense of retribution and vengeance for the loss of his own family. His life changed when he was rescued by UNICEF and admitted into a rehabilitation/deprogramming center for children like Beah. This proved to be life changing. This new experience opened the door for Beah to begin his journey of self forgiveness and healing.

Beah's narrative and attention to detail makes his story mesmerizing, haunting and thoroughly compelling. You not only feel deep empathy and sympathy, but you feel as though you are there and a part of his nightmare.

The thought that children are forced to this degree of inhumanity is absolutely horrific. They are robbed of their childhoods and forced into a world no human being should experience. The saddest part of this story is that Beah is an anomaly. Most child soldiers are maimed or murdered by their own countrymen, or often times, by other children. Beah's hope, hard work and love for life has thankfully brought him out, along with the help of many people who saw the urgency of his situation.

Stories like this should inspire and give us all hope - hope to overcome our own issues of broken homes, abandonment, child molestation or to a lesser degree, dealing with the new Prada shoe being sold out - it is all about perspective. If a child can survive such inhuman conditions, then we surely can navigate the far less complicated terrain of our contrastingly cushioned lives. Beah has gone on to speak out against the atrocities that far too many children all over the world have to endure. He has inspired many people, including me, to stay the course, never give up, always have hope and faith and to trust that it can always get better.

Beah's story happened during the 90's , so this is very close to us and still happens at this very moment. Interestingly enough, I find so many similarities in the experiences of Beah with those of many children right on our own blocks and in our neighborhoods who are involved with gang and drug culture. I hope they can also find the road to freedom as Beah has.

An absolute must read.....and then share it with someone else.

REVIEW: A DEEPER SHADE OF BLUE - Passion Marks II

I just had the guilty pleasure of reading A DEEPER SHADE OF BLUE - PASSION MARKS II, which was written by Lee Hayes, author of PASSION MARKS and his newest novel, THE MESSIAH (review coming soon!).

Kevin and Darryl have survived their nightmare experience in Houston, which involved an abusive relationship, a woman scorned, secrets made public and a crazed vigilante lover with murderous intent. This installment has the couple visited by someone from their past who orchestrates a symphony of catastrophe upon their lives.

Most of the main characters are back: There is Kevin, dealing with the death of his identical twin brother, Keevan, by burying himself in the responsibilities of his new business and charity work. He is a hopeless romantic willing to go the distance for his lover, Darryl. Darryl, once the long suffering partner, is beginning to explore other 'avenues' of interest that may have dire consequences. Danea, the best friend and cheerleader, now a superstar singer, is still Kevin's rock and sounding board.

It didn't win the Pulitzer prize, but who cares when you can't put the book down. It was so entertaining, sexy and addictive. I couldn't stop laughing, gasping and wanting more. One of the things that is so great about the book is that you identify, on some level, with the characters. You see yourself and your friends in them. But, thank God my life is a little less dramatic than Kevin's!

One of the things that I love about Lee Hayes is that he infuses social messages relevant to ALL people, be they gay, straight, black, white or green. Issues of spousal abuse, fidelity, honesty, personal responsibility and safe sex are issues that affect all of us. Hayes does his part, in an entertaining and non-preachy way, to bring attention to issues that we all face.

A super-entertaining read. Get it.

http://www.leehayes.info/

BOOK REVIEW: WICKED

WICKED is the pre-story to the classic book, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, and was written by Gregory Macguire. It provides the backstory of The Wicked Witch of the West (Elphaba), Glinda - The Good Witch (Galinda), The Wizard and some of the other characters such as the winged monkeys, the Cowardly Lion and the Tin Man.

I was absolutely entranced by this book. The author takes a story that is so familiar to us all and smacks it, flips it and rubs it down into something so engrossing, so thought provoking and very entertaining. By reshaping the characters into fully flushed out, three dimensional characters with emotions and pasts, Macguire makes us reevaluate our feelings toward the two witches, thus pushing us to challenge our traditional definitions of good-evil, justice-injustice, and hatred-love.

WICKED has already been turned into a successful Broadway musical, but I so easily see it on the big screen. The action, visuals, amazing characters and dry, witty sense of humor would translate so well. I would love to see Hillary Swank as Elphaba and Reese Witherspoon as Galinda.

Happy reading.